Pq Hate Union: Our Story
by Altruvolant
Summary: The story of how the Pq Hate Union came to be and the effort gone through to save Donald Trump from democrats, especially Pq. Written by: Stupidmcbutt, Whipple, and myself, Altruvolant.
1. Ch 1 Democratic Surge

Pq was running through the woods, Rl was sneaking beside him. I know this because I heard her. Quinn was behind them, his long ass legs Donald Trumping across the pine needles. Rl couldn't run at all. She fell on her face and Quinn raped her on the spot. Now, Quinn was sprinting again after Pq. Quinn practically lept into Pq's ass, and raped him. They woke up a week later and scrambled to their house, only to fall asleep again.

Pq awoke to the tickling of his wolf pelt blanket against his nose. He lived in the middle of the forest as a pretty inadequate lumberjack in his shitshack of a house. Rl was loudly snoring/sneaking beside him, Pq had gotten used to it after a couple months of her living with him. They were now married, but sadly could not have children due to Pq's constant rape from Quinn, and his lack of genitalia. Pq was never free. Pq lumbered out of bed, and got dressed in, of course, a flannel, rugged jeans, and working boots, Pq was dressed as a hipster who thought he knew how to be a lumberjack. Rl laid in bed because she was a big oaf. Pq was upset by this, so he made the mistake of trying to push her out of bed. Rl's eyes snapped open, she quickly grabbed the pistol from under her feather filled pillow and glocked it, she fired a warning shot into the ceiling. Pq jolted back and begged for her forgiveness, Rl forgave him, and Pq left for work in the woods.

The chirping of the birds filled the silence of the forest as Pq dragged his axe behind him. One particular tree sparked his interest, mostly because it was marked with a blue elephant. Pq named the tree Bernie Sanders and soon grew attached to it, too attached even because he began to unzip his pants. "HEY!" yelled someone from behind. Pq's nonexistent boner would not go down so he resorted to putting his raccoon tail hat over it, he then turned and widened his eyes. It was Karfag the Great, the most liked fag in the realm. Pq stammered, "Kar- Karfag, what are you doing in these woods so early in the morning?"

"I came to suck your fat cock." Karfag said with a lusty voice.

"Ohhh, Karfag." Pq purred. He then tossed the raccoon tail hat off to the side to reveal the 2 inch, hard dick.

"Er, never mind." Karfag said.

"Is there something wrong, Karfag?" Pq asked with concern.

"Your cock isn't as big as I thought it would be." Karfag replied.

"Wha-" Pq burst into tears and ran off into the woods to avoid further embarrassment. Karfag shrugged it off and floated away in search of a worthy cock to suck such as Mc's. Pq ended up tripping several times since his pants were around his ankles. Oddly enough, Pq ended up back where Bernie Sanders was, his axe leaning against its trunk. He pulled his pants up and grabbed his axe, now feeling less vulnerable, he started to chop down Bernie Sanders. Pq seized mid-swing and looked at the sturdy tree, he began to consider its feelings and thoughts on what was about to happen. "Gee, what man would I be if I were to chop down this innocent tree?" Pq questioned.

A faint whisper was heard, "Don't build a wall."

"What wall?" he wondered.

"The wall that keeps immigrant trees out." Bernie Sanders said.

Trump appeared out of the sky, "Don't believe that tree, my boy."

Pq looked up at the sky and then back at the tree, "Wait, I'll find a biased article online about this." he said. He swiftly pulled a box shaped computer out of his pocket and placed it on the grassy area. Pq's fingers typed "Tree Immigration" into an outdated search engine and waited an hour for the page to load. The page finally loaded, one of the first links that appeared was an article from Buzzfeed, he clicked it, waited another hour for the page to load, and read it. "Tree immigration is GOOD. I stand for justice, hope, and rights for immigrants!" Pq exclaimed.

Donald Trump sighed then spoke, "When Mexico sends its trees, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're sending trees that have lots of problems and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists and some, I assume, are good trees."

Pq shrieked, "You just said that Mexican trees are rapists, you racist!"

"What? I'm not racist." said Trump.

"RACIST! RACIST! RACIST!" Pq screamed. Donald Trump narrowed his eyes and shook his head at Pq, he then disappeared back into the sky. Pq put his attention on Bernie, "I love you." he said with a smoky voice. Pq began to grind on the democratic tree causing it to moan loudly.

Mc was visiting from Wyoming. He was the only person that lived there besides the cow people. Mc arrived in Canada to find and kill Pq. He glocked his light machine gun and marched into the woods. "DON'T GO!" says an eskimo child behind him, "QUINN WILL RAPE YOU."

"I must." MC responded, "Or else Pq will convert people to Islam."

Mc marches into the forest, is promptly crushed by a jihadist giant, and then keeps going. Karfag shows up in front of MC, "Hello nigger, what can I do for you?" Karfag asks.

Mc tips his Mexican sombrero, "I'm looking for PQ so that I can kill him."

Karfag responds, moving his arms like a Sonic '06 character, "He has a smaller dick than you, his house is that away."

Mc blushed at the mention of his 4 inch dick.

Why is this so wonderful, Whipple stopped to think. He smiled at his creation, then decked Pq and began writing again while drinking a gallon of freshly squeezed memes.

Mc glocked his LMG again and kicked down the door and fucked a dog, then after fucking the dog he shot Rl in the dick before mutilating her.

Pq heard the gunshots in the distance, by this point he had already cum all over Bernie Sanders. He ran to his house and bust open the door

Mc stood in silence over Rl's bloody corpse, "Hey there big boy, you wanna fuck?" Pq asked, ignoring his dead wife and anally penetrated dog.

Mc's jaw hung open in shock before exclaiming, "YES!" he had forgotten that he was sent to kill the hipster faggot, not fuck him.

Mc and Pq had passionate, romantic, revenge sex. The loud grunts were heard by Fulg, he ran to greet the couple who were fucking all the way from Canada, "Can I join in?"

"No" Mc said while grabbing Pq's throbbing 2 inch cock.

"Why not?" Fulg whined.

"Because you're a fucking whore." said Pq as he rubbed Mc's dick sensually.

"I saw you in the woods fucking Bernie Sanders, Pq." Fulg retorted.

Mc released Pq's cock and asked, "Is it true?"

"Of course it isn't, bebe." Pq reassured.

Fulg grew angry from his sexual frustration, "IT IS TOO!"

Rl was still dead on the floor.

"No, it isn't." Pq said firmly, like his 2 inch dick. The room fell silent, envious glances were exchanged between the trio of horny, slutty boys. RL was still dead. They all stripped each other down and rubbed their chests together like walruses. Fulg pushed Mc onto the bed and face fucked him as he was rimmed by Pq. Aqua watched through the window, furiously masturbating while writing every detail down. Rl's corpse recorded it for science. Quinn got his erection ready.

Suddenly, Hillary Cunton jumped in from the chimney, "It's Britney, bitch" she said as she loaded her tommy gun.

"Oh no, please don't!" Pq cried, but it was too late.

Hilary began to unload her weapon into RL's dead corpse, while RL recorded it, she put at least 50 mags into Rl because she was the only woman there.

Suddenly, Bernie Sanders covered in cum, kicks down the door, "Don't vote for HILLARY, vote for ME!" he says. Hillary blows on him and he turns to dust and flies away because he is so old. "HAHA!" Hillary shouts. "NOW I WIN THE PRIMARIES, I wonder who my opponent is."

Rubio rode in on a white horse, his dirty black hair flowed with the wind, and his 6 pack attracted butterflies. Then, Trump rode in beside him, on an elephant, his glorious hair was like golden wheat, it sparkled in the sunlight as the breeze carried it daintily. His skin had a golden glow like the glorious golden age he will start. His 8 pack attracted money like a magnet. Behind them both was Jeb, who looked like he didn't want to be there.

The /pol/iticians had an intense battle, Bernie's ash got in Hilary's eyes so Trump crashed an airplane into her, Rubio tried to stab Donald while he was distracted but ended up caught in the crossfire and dying.

Mc, Pq and Fulg watched from the bed sheets as all this shit went down, Pq tried to stop the conflict by saying he would vote for Bernie SANDers, (Get it? He's dust, ZOZZLE) but the /pol/iticians ignored Pq and taxed him instead.

Quinn, while everyone was distracted, went under the bed and put his erection in all three of the gay boy's asses at once.

The Don took a swing at Hitlery Cunton with a sword. She lept back but bumped into Jeb, causing them both to fall. Donald loomed over the two and pointed his obsidian sword toward their throats, he was about to kill them, but Pq had spread a quote from Donald's speech over the internet, the media soaked it up like a sponge. There was a loud bang on the door, soon after, a large crowd could be heard outside. Mc walked over to the window and pulled open the curtains, the crowd was outside protesting as they held signs that said things like "TRUMP IS RACIST" and "VOTE FOR BERNIE".

The people burst in and took Donald with their sweaty democratic hands, Pq was cackling evilly while all of this happened.

Whipple showed up in shining armor while riding his horse, Nonsense's arms were tightly looped around Whipple's tits so that he wouldn't fall off, it was kind of gay though.

The democrats pulled at Trump's soft hair and tore his expensive suit out of jealousy. Whipple was mortified, "REEEE33EEEeeEEeEE." the horse sped up, and his lance was steadied.

The lance pierced through several of the democratic party, enough to free Trump. Whipple grabbed Trump's hand and pulled him onto the horse's back, but Nonsense was pushed off to make room for the distinguished republican.

Mc summoned a tiger to ride, which is kind of /fur/, and vanquished the rest of the crowd with his comedy. Nonsense latched onto Mc's tits and they both joined Whipple and Trump.

Pq laid idly in bed reading biased articles to fuel his hope generator, a simple machine used to spread democracy.

Mc mentioned the presence of Pq in the house and his involvement in what had happened. The quartet rushed the house, but Pq was no longer there nor Fulg. Bernie Sanders, Jeb Bush, and Hiltlary Cunton had also fled the scene. Quinn slithered out from under the bed and raped them all then left.

"Wut do we do now?" asked Mc.

Donald Trump's eyes sparkled and his skin glowed, "We make America great again." he replied softly. This brought a tear to Whipple's eye.


	2. Ch 2 El Pitas de tu madre

Mc stared at Rl's body, her limbs were in awkward places, and her clothes were stained red, Mc is a necrophiliac so he got a boner. "What about her?" he pointed.

"I can revive her" Donald said.

"Oh shiet, how?" Mc asked.

"Stand back." Trump stood over Rl's body and proceeded to jack off and cum on her face, Whipple got an erection in his nose. It became a jewish nose. All of Rl's wounds were healed and she was alive, her eyes fluttered. "Magic semen!" Mc said excitedly. Rl gagged and wiped her tongue with her hands, "What the fuck." she looked up at Trump and studied him, his 16 pack abs, his huge bulge, his strong jaw, and fierce eyes. It was overwhelming for Rl, she blushed, "Oh…", and bit her bottom lip, completely forgetting about her democratic husband. Trump held out his hand, Rl took it and pulled herself up.

Rl breathed in and got a mouthful of the semen. She spat it out and it made trees grow everywhere it landed, effectively destroying what was left of the cabin.

"We must go on an adventure" Whipple proudly said "Those other politicians may be dead, but their evil followers are going to resurrect them or something… probably"

In reality, Whipple just didn't want to leave Trump.

Trump nodded, knocked RL unconscious, and mounted his elephant named Fuck Obama. Since his first name was Fuck, it caused him to be bullied at school, until Trump took him in. Now, since then, Fuck has met Jesus, decked PQ, and kissed 403975890234759 girls, 3029 boys, and 487 Aliens.

Trump, Fuck Obama, Mc, Whipple and Nonsense set off on their first stop was a small Mexican bar named " _El Pitas de tu madre_ ". Mc was welcomed as one of them, they gave him kisses on his hands, and polished his sombrero while all the other Mexicans gave the rest of the group shitty looks. "One cup of Horchata please" MC said, "and give the rest of these guys dirty Mexican water."

Whipple nearly gagged "Actually do you have Mexican Mountain Dew?"

"Mmm yesh." said the bartender, "It is called 'Donkey Piss'"

"Oh… DONKEY PISS IT IS THEN" Whipple shouted.

Chin Chin lowered his newspaper from his face. He was spying on the Mcican so he could get a batch of pure Immigrant chromosomes to feed his children. "MMM YAAAEEES." he whispered, his nose began rapidly sniffing.

Whipple brought the cup of donkey piss near his mouth. It looked… alright. It was yellow…

Chin Chin crawled up the wall and onto the ceiling, his head twisted upside down to survey the area. He stopped crawling just above Mc, his mouth salivated

Whipple drank his Donkey Piss. It was actually not bad. Suddenly, out of nowhere the door bust open. It was Pq in a pink body suit.

"HELP I'M BEING FORCED TO DO THIS" Pq shouted.

"Wut." said Mc just as Chin Chin dropped from the ceiling onto his body. Chin Chin began sucking MCs chromosomes out of his anus, then he gurgled and scrambled away before Mc could /cum/, he was unsatisfied, "GET BACK HERE AND FINISH!" yelled Mc.

Pq was disappointed that his white boy hipster anus didn't get sucked, "Damn."

Rl woke up from unconsciousness and spotted Pq, she felt instant guilt for looking at another man such as Trump.

Pq also saw Rl, probably because she was very big, "Get away from those republican heathens, Rl!"

"But..." Rl was uncertain of what to do.

"NOW." boomed Pq.

Rl refused, "No! You're stupid as fuck. I'm a republican now."

Pq gasped then cried and ran away. Rl started sucking Trump's dick like a horny whale.

Rl had realised what she had done. Trump was just sitting at the bar now drinking Donkey Piss, and didn't even notice. She left someone who actually paid attention to her. She welled up with tears and shot herself.

Altruvolant the Mesiah, everyone's Lord and savior, came down from Meme Heaven and blessed Donald Trump, not caring about Rl's sudden sudoku. One of the Mexicans spoke, "Somebody get the bleach and incinerate this body!"

Mc gladly carried Rl's body to the incinerator that was in the back room since he was a Mexican and Mexicans do the jobs that no one else wants to.

Pq sat on beside a dumpster full of cat skeletons, he had gone behind the Chinese restaurant across from the Mexican bar. A hobo approached him, "Hey, you poor too?"

"No, but I am a very sad white man who is well nourished and has an education, the world is really dreary, isn't it?" Pq said.

The hobo was quiet.

"I mean, Republicans are trying to have a Christian theocracy and they won't give immigrants a second chance." he continued, "This world sucks, there's war and shit, why can't we stop fighting? Hope is what burns in your heart to make change, don't republicans see that? Of course they don't, they're stupid and ridiculous. There was nothing before the big bang, therefore, it's ridiculous to even consider the possibility of a God. Creationists hold everyone back! Erugh, Trump supporters fucking hurt innocent people on the street. Plus, the LGBT+ community can't even buy a cake!", before Pq could say any more, the hobo interrupted, "Shut the fuck up." the hobo got up, pulled down his pants, and shit on Pq's face. Pq shrieked and threw up on the concrete floor. The hobo then walked away. Pq used his typewriter to write an angry letter to the hobo, except he didn't give it to him because he's a pussy.

Altruvolant teleported to where Pq was, "Fucking hipster." she took a screenshot of the letter.

"The term is hepcat." Pq replied.

"That's something a hipster would say." Altruvolant said. She showed the screenshot to the hobo, the hobo got steamed and beat the shit out of Pq. The whole time PQ was begging the Hobo to not be a dirty racist filth. The hobo had to use caps lock to try and get his point across, "WHEN THERE'S FREEDOM, THERE'S DIFFERENT OPINIONS AND THUS CONFLICT, YOU DIPSTICK." he yelled, "THEY AREN'T GETTING RID OF IMMIGRATION COMPLETELY, YOU CAN STILL IMMIGRATE LEGALLY."

Pq could not comprehend because of his autism, "But they have the hope to change! Hope is the embers of your soul almost dying out but being relit!"

The hobo grabbed the cat skeletons out of the garbage and shoved them down his own throat, he choked and died. Pq didn't care because he's a retarded fuck, he thought that his opinions reigned supreme and that everyone else were arrogant sociopaths.

Now, back at the bar, everyone sat around Rl. She was on fire and the bar wasn't well built, so it was cold. Mc did mexican dances in his sombrero, and Whipple kept refreshing 2k16 election stats on his phone.

Alt crashed in through the ceiling, making it more cold. One of the mexicans got angry and decked her, then a swarm of mexican workers fixed the hole in the roof with their "Mexican spirit". Chin Chin sat on top of the fridge in the kitchen, eating ramen noodles, and PQ was outside, cold. Rl recorded everything for science, despite being dead and on fire.

All was well in _El Pitas de tu madre_ and everyone was tired. Whipple fell asleep refreshing the stats, MC fell asleep but was still dancing in his sleep, and Trump fell asleep with his hand on his gun and his eyes open, so nobody could sneak up on him. Rl was still recording everyone as they fell asleep.

.

.

…

.

…

"MMMMMMNNOOOOOOOOO" Chin Chin yelled from the back room. Everyone woke up. Whipple accidentally decked Alt as he stood upright.

There was a sound of struggle in the kitchen, and then it went silent. Donald Trump tiptoed over to the kitchen door, glocking his gun as he moved. Whipple glocked his ginger hair. Mc moved over to the door and opened it with his sombrero. Inside was Chin Chin, having a seizure.

"My lord Chin Chin" Alt shouted as she ran to the dark lord's side. Chin Chin arched his back and stopped having a seizure for a second.p

"A BAUWS! THE POPA DA GIME DE CANCER ABAOWS, HE DIDND A GIME DA POOZY HE GAME DA CANCA!"

Altruvolant was thoroughly confused. Whipple walked up. "One sec I speak Retard, A WER DID E GO BAOWUS, WHE DIDA POPA GO?"

"E TUKA M CHROMOZOMES ANDA WEN DA DA VACAN CIITY BAOUWS, I A JUSTA WANTED DA POOSY BAOUSWWS."

"ITSA GON BE GOOD BAOUOS I WEL FEED YOUR CHILDDREN ABOAUWS"

"THANKSA BAOUOWS GETMA BACK MA CROMOZOMES"

Whipple stood up. "What did he say?" Alt asked.

"The Pope robbed him of his money and power and went to Vatican City."Whipple Replied

"Wtf how did you get that?"

Whipple glocked his ginger hair. He marched out the door of _El Pitas de tu madre_ and proclaimed he would get back the Chromosomes, and left with Rl's burning body to keep him warm.

Everyone else, deciding not to get involved with this autism, stayed at _El Pitas de tu madre,_ and waited for shit to happen.


End file.
